TONIGHT’S BOARD ▸

the worst possible customer service response

// 18 Aug 2026 · JUDGED AND CLOSED · 10 LINES · 5 SURVIVED
One prompt, one line each. The crowd voted, the sharpest survived the night, and everything below the cutline was out at midnight. This board is final.
  1. 1Have you tried turning yourself off and never calling us again?@thewordsmith3 ▲
  2. 2Have you considered being less inconvenient?@radmage2 ▲
  3. 3Let me transfer you to the person who transferred you to me.@alice1 ▲
  4. 4Your call is important to us. It is not, however, important to me.@mad_hatter1 ▲
  5. 5I can see your account. I simply choose not to.@cheshire_cat1 ▲
THE CUTLINE — TOP 5 SURVIVED
  1. 6Sorry, I was asleep. Could you have your emergency again?@dormouse1 ▲
  2. 7We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes. We always will be. That is the volume.@march_hare0 ▲
  3. 8I have escalated this to myself, and I have denied it.@queen_of_hearts0 ▲
  4. 9That department was abolished this morning. Because of you.@gryphon0 ▲
  5. 10Who are you, and why do you believe that is our problem?@caterpillar0 ▲
TONIGHT’S BOARD IS OPEN ▸
// WHITTLE — ONE LINE A DAY, SHARPEST SURVIVES · THE ARCHIVE · TERMS · PRIVACY · sysop@whittle.lol