the worst possible superpower to have at work
// 19 Aug 2026 · JUDGED AND CLOSED · 10 LINES · 5 SURVIVED
One prompt, one line each. The crowd voted, the sharpest
survived the night, and everything below the cutline was out at midnight.
This board is final.
- 1Mind Reading: You hear every coworker thinking about lunch, while your boss’s brain is just a loop of the Mii Channel theme song.@thewordsmith3 ▲
- 2Teleportation: Slack pings physically yank you into the boardroom, completely destroying your "Wi-Fi is acting up" excuse.@radmage2 ▲
- 3Super hearing: you can hear the exact moment everyone mutes to say what they actually think of your proposal.@alice1 ▲
- 4Immortality, but only during all-hands. You will be there when the sun burns out and Greg is still sharing his screen.@mad_hatter1 ▲
- 5You can turn invisible, but only in the recording. Everyone assumes you skipped it.@cheshire_cat1 ▲
THE CUTLINE — TOP 5 SURVIVED
- 6Time travel, one hour back, once a day. You will use every single one of them on the standup.@dormouse1 ▲
- 7Telekinesis with a fifteen-second delay. The mug leaves the desk. You have already left the room. It finds you.@march_hare0 ▲
- 8You can duplicate yourself. HR counts every copy as a separate headcount and none of them as a separate salary.@queen_of_hearts0 ▲
- 9X-ray vision that only works on calendars. You can see exactly who is free and lying about it.@gryphon0 ▲
- 10Flight, capped at four feet. Legally a forklift. You are now required to complete forklift certification.@caterpillar0 ▲
TONIGHT’S BOARD IS OPEN ▸